Do you believe in the supernaturals ?
I do.
I believe there are so many unexplained encounters happening every single seconds. Take a look at the photo on the right (the one I use for my profile) Athough this photo has been my PC's wallpaper for quite sometime, it was only recently that I was trying to figure out the stretch of road in the background. Gosh! Isn't that AYE?! Nothing abnormal you may think. But let me reveal this to you today... An accident happened here in June! A female motor cyclist was flunked off her bike and subsequently, ran down by a car. There was a massive traffic jam after the accident and guess what, I was stucked in the jam at that time. I even managed to catch a glimpse of the covered body as I drove passed the accident site. What was more astonishing is...the place where this
photo was taken was exactly the site that the victim landed!!!

This photo was taken before the accident. Could this accident have been prevented...

Marcus XA
YNWA @ 7:55 PM

Why did that special someone doesn't feel the same for you anymore?
Why did that special someone doesn't understand you anymore?
Why did that special someone doesn't behave like before anymore?

There's alot of answers. All the answers will hurt. Yes... they do. If you already know they will hurt, then stop guessing about the answer that you will get. If that special someone is still keeping quiet, let me say, let it be. He/she maybe afraid to hurt you.

Selfish!!! Selfish!!! Yes, you are! You are very SELFISH, you have never put yourself in my shoes. You make me to suffer alone. Maybe you are confused, don't know what to do now. But at least, tell me how you feel now. I'll rather be hurt by the truth, than to be hurting from all those wild guesses I have made about your heart.

I've done my part. Now it's up to you to do your part. If you don't ,then maybe this is how I feel about the way you are feeling for me now...Baby, Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough...

Now, I don't want to lose you,
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
I don't want to take you,
but I don't want to be the one to cry.
And I don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you,
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you just have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder,
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

And there's no way home,
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to be?

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No.

Marcus XA
YNWA @ 3:56 AM

140/98

"What's that?" You may be asking me. That's my blood pressure taken on Thursday night. At last, Dr Yao has given me the high blood pressure medicine. Well, I went to see her because I was having migraine and giddiness on Thursday morning. She told me, "Being a diabetic, the chances of feeling giddy is normal. Let me check your blood pressure. 140/98, not good you know?" To confirm her diagnosis on me, she took my right arm and check my blood pressure again. She said "same, 140/98..."

Man...what's going on with my body. Time to look at myself really. Have to cut down on unhealthy food from now on. Have to rest more and sleep early. But what I think that is pushing my blood pressure up might be due to my work. If I'm too lenient to the children, they become uncontrollable-STRESS for me; If I'm scolding and shouting always, they are more controllable- But too much scolding and getting angry= STRESS/High Blood Pressure. Tell me what I can do?

Change my job after my bond finishes? Take it easy on the children? Easy said than done. I have tried to pretend I'm angry and strict when I'm with the children. But somehow, those anger just got to my head, no more just acting out. Sigh...I'm really worried for Cindy. Because she needs me to depend on for the rest of her live. If I'm single now, then maybe I'm not so bothered by my health.

For the past more than 1 year, every morning when I woke up, there are traces of blood in my saliva. I have finally told that to Dr Yao. Always seems to forget to tell her whenever I see her. She took my blood to check for the amount of platelets and red blood cells. She told me "On the extreme side, this maybe the cause of leukemia." Huh? I was shouting that in my heart when I heard that. Well, in a week's time, I will be able to tell you what's wrong with me...

What's next???
(to be continued soon..)

Marcus XA
YNWA @ 5:43 PM

Terrorists. Banged! Let's kill them all!

They have striked again... oh well, u may say- "what's new?" I say, this time around they have really picked the most appropriate time to strike mayhem to the world.(London was voted the host city for Olympic 2012 & the G8 has just commenced..) The world might be thinking, oh well, it must be the French... No!... let's face it, no one can be so sore enough to harm the lives of the innocents. Only the terrorists can do that! You can't blame the Bushes and Blairs to want to narrow down these idiots by starting the wars. Let's put ourselves in their shoes... the lives of their own people, lost to these mindless, cruel idiots.

Enough is enough, what do you want? You all are cowards! Who do you kill? Those vulnerable and innocent civilians!! Stop saying you are fighting for your own God. Nonsense! How can a religion teaches you to kill?

If that Special One up there is listening, i say, rock the world... let there be another massive earthquake similar to the one that wiped out the dinosaurs! I don't mind ending my reign on Earth now cos' i know i will eventually make my way to heaven while those horrible, senseless terrorist will be banished to hell forever!

Marcus XA
YNWA @ 2:34 AM

I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE...
That's exactly what's on my brain now. So much things that have went, going to go against me are having such an enormous effect on me. Bigger than the tsunami I think (still can joke a bit here) I only want to talk to people whom I don't know. I don't want to start anything or continue with anything at the moment. Just want to drop down and be an island now. Cast me away, to a far far away place, where there are no worries about disappointments, where there are always just happiness or just sadness. I don't want to be happy one minute and unhappy the next.

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THIS ROLLERCOASTER EMOTIONAL RIDE ANYMORE !!!

I don't care if you problems are bigger than mine. I only care if my own problems are driving me crazy now! Knowing you have a bigger problem than mine isn't going to make me feel better. It just shows me this life that we live is so screwed up!

I only wanted a little, but you gave me none. I want to give, I want to say when I give, I want nothing in return. Lie. That's a lie! Biggest Lie! I want something, but don't have to be too much. Just 1/10 will do! Can you help me? If you can't even give me back 1/10, I don't have the drive to give 10/10 anymore. That's why I say it's a lie from mine.

Making things better...for what? Once things go up, it will sure go down. Why bother to make things so beautiful, so perfect? Just let it be, no effort, no love lost... Pain when beautiful things have been scarred. Tons of setbacks when things beautiful have been tarnished in the face of self-centeredness, selfishness.

Giving up promises when I see you more important. Do that DON'T EVER! It will hurt you when the importance's trust backfired. Promise you should keep, but make sure it's towards trustworthiness.

Stable, Steady... no ups no down... just moving along the equator will do for me.

Marcus XA
YNWA @ 12:39 PM

This whole blogging fetish is just killing my time! Half a year ago it was just my favourite team's website, checking my 2 email a/c. Now- check 4 email a/cs, LFC website and a whole lists of my friends' blog!!! Worse still, MSN !!! Have to multi-task! When people mentioned time seems to fly faster these days, I say..maybe not... Time still travel at the same rate as 10 , 100, 1000 years ago. There are still 60mins in an hour.We simply have too many things to do these days! Worst still, not all those things that we do now are necessary!! Work, friends, family, our beloved flurry pals, etc... When was the last time we took a stroll in the park? Read a book in the library? Have a good "sit-down" dinner with our family?

Most of my leisure time now are spent in front of the PC! Really have to balance what I do for my leisure. There are so many leisure stuffs waiting on the line...jacuzzi, walking my puggies, playing tennis (anyone? no kaki leh...), going to the gym, playing pro evolution, gardening, reading my fav. books (and i haven't even finish "1421"!!!)blah blah blah.... But what do I end up doing every night after work?? Staring at this cold hard nutshell, trying to tell you people, my friend, out there how I feel every night, what inspire me today, giving you my comments about your latest entry...blah x infinity! That's not all, have to chat thru' MSN even though we have met so often in the last few months! I need a break from blogs and MSN!!! Sh*t! What have I just done?? UPDATED my BLOG! Da*M !!!

Marcus XA
YNWA @ 12:20 AM