I went for VBT today. What is VBT?... you may ask. In simple terms, it is a test to check for our body imbalance. VBT actually stands for Vestibular Battery Tests. It was frightening!! I was made to lie on a bed and the rest of the procedures was "life-threatening"! Water was then pushed into my right ear using a "I don't know what it is medical tool". I was told to count numbers. When the numbers reached 15, my head was already spinning. As the counting reaches 30, the dizziness was something undescribeable here and I was already not breathing well and was hyper-ventilating! My hand started to get numb and it took me a lot of time to run the numbness off before the doctor starts gushing water into the other ear. As I already know what was in store, I was more prepared this time. But this time, my condition got worst. I have never had nauseas like this in my whole entire life! My head was spinning like hell!!! You must go through this then you will understand what I mean! My whole hand was in total numbness! I keep clenching my fists and my fingers couldn't open. My head and neck were numbed too. I was not in control of my hands and head then! This is the worst hyper-ventilation attack I ever had since I was sent to Changi Hospital 4 years ago! I didn't complete the whole test as they have to gush warm water into my ears to complete the whole procedure. I surrendered! My mind is willing, but my flesh is weak! What a disappointment! I felt I have let myself down as I couldn't complete the test. But I was in serious hyper-ventilation.

This reminds me of 3 years ago when I went for a neurotic test after suffering from a few hyper-ventilation attack...This attack occurs when we over-panicked till it affects our muscles. I must stress here that the word "hyper-ventilate" has been frequently but lightly used. For e.g, whenever my superiors gave me more workload, they always joked that "don't hyper-ventilate ok?" They think it's funny! But not for me though! To me, hyper-ventilation is a serious illness that can leads to serious complications. So the next time, you use this word or somebody use this word, remember what you have read here! Alright, back to what happened to me after hyper-ventilating...They doctor told me my body has overworked. He said when over mental strength doesn't synchronize with our physical strength, our body will be overworked. The matter about mental strength actually started for me when I was in army. The officers always stressed to us that "IT'S ALL IN THE MIND"! Yes, I agreed that it is true, it was my mental strength that pushed me all the way during my BMT. Without it, I won't have pass out. But here's where the danger lurks...in actual fact, we should always understand our body's strength first before we can start "pyscho-ing" our mind that we can do it. Somehow, I feel I've been victimized into the theory about "It's all in the mind". Ever since I have been diagnosed with hyper-ventilation, the symptoms before any attacks have been good warning signs for me that my body already cannot take any more pressures. I'm thankful I have not had any serious hyper-ventilation attacks during these few years until today. Today's experience with the VBT had once again taught me that the phrase "It's all in the mind" is not totally correct but "The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak" is more true!

Marcus XA
YNWA @ 11:39 PM