DownI've been feeling very negative these days. I don't talk much, have no patience and have been thinking of myself getting old and dying, really freaked me out with all these thoughts that I start to shiver and feel weak. Yesterday I got up and had a really bad headache and migraine. I was angry that I am sick because I look forward to every new month so that I can keep myself away from taking MC. But nobody will understand. Everytime I fell sick, you will think that's because I'm not taking good care of my body.
I have analysed why I feel down and I realised it is not caused by things happening to me now, because I think life has been smooth sailing for me these days. Therefore, there was no reason for me to feel down. I told Dr Yao this and she told me not to blame myself. My feeling down is down to my body. There's some chemical lacking in my body which is causing me to feel down these days. She recommended me to take my anti-depression pill. Ok, I think I should.
Then Dr Yao shared something with me since there's no patient after me...
This is what she told me :We all suffer with Christ you know Mr Yip?
You see, the more we suffer, the more we know that we are glorifying Christ's death on the cross. We should feel privileged when we are made to suffer in this world because Christ wants us to understand how He suffered and that this is a suffering world. This world is not our destiny. Our destiny is in God's kingdom. So whatever sufferings and pleasures we have in this world is not eternal. You imagine your mother-in-law being able to stand up now and become 100% healthy. She will not cherish God as much as when she's suffering. The longer men suffer, the more we will experienced God and feel Him near us. Take a crucifix and show it infront of her, let her understand that Jesus has suffered much more than us and we should take pleasure that we are able to suffer like Jesus. Yes, the pain is unbearable but always believe that God has a reason for everything that He does to us.
This doesn't just apply to your mother-in-law, Mr Yip, it also applies to you! You see, you have diabetes, depression and high blood pressure, you have a wife who is bothered with her mother... these are all your sufferings which God has put you into so that He is able to see if you can endure them so that you can enter the kingdom of God when this world passes you. Do you know with faith, Man can even move mountains and calm the sea? So you must have faith! Don't ever blame God for putting you through sufferings and anguish!
Do you know things in the this world is totally different from what God preaches? For eg. when you lose your job... To the world, it may mean the end for you, but to Christians, this is not! Losing your job doesn't mean it's the end! It means God may have other plans for you to achieve. Remember that we do not need a hill of riches to survive in this world. People who have all the riches in this world will not remember God because they are enjoying. The more you are enjoying the more you will not remember God.
When I told my mum this, she gave me an example that her priest has told her. We always keep God in sight, but have we always stayed near to him?? If we are not near to him, then Jesus is not in our heart. We can see Him, but we are putting him in our heart, things we do are not according to His Will, his teachings.
I hope I can have more faith and live according to His teachings everyday.
PS: oh before I forget, today is my Dad's birthday if he is still alive. Happy Birthday Papa.
Marcus XA
YNWA @
12:49 PM